Over the past few years there have been a LOT of prayers going up, asking God to put us in our town where we could dig in and raise our kids. At least for a while. ;) Nothing is permanent right?? The last couple of years we lived in a great little town called Greybull, while we really enjoyed being there and will forever be thankful for the two years that we got to spend there, it just didn't feel like "it". You know that feeling?? When you come across something and you just know that it is right.
WELL! Here we are in Pinedale, Wyoming, waking up to antelope running through our yard, or hanging out eating the grass and pooping. We have a gorgeous view of some incredible mountains, the sunsets are amazing!! We have two bathrooms!!! Suuuuuuuuuuper exciting stuff. Seriously. The boys are happily settling in and getting used to all of our new routines. I'm busily trying to recruit all of our family to move over here. The two little men and I drove up to Jackson on Tuesday and the drive was GORGEOUS! Followed the Hoback river almost the whole way, every time we went around a curve in the road I expected to see elk, moose or a bear! We saw none...but that was ok. It was still so beautiful. Can I tell you how ridiculously exciting it is to see a moose?? They are so cool!!
Every day we wake up and give thanks for the chance to be where we are. Ryan and I get to work out as often as we want/can, the big boys are doing swim lessons! Rygby looooooves being in the water too...unfortunately mommy is just not motivated enough to do the mommy and me swim lessons with him. At this point in time anyway.
I've also come to some major realizations lately about my prayer life! Every time I turn around I'm reminded of how much I'm missing my time communicating with my heavenly Father! When all three boys and I were home it was easy to wake up before them, NOW it's painful. I'm still staying up late to do schoolwork (sometimes I peruse through my favorite mommy blogs and Instagram accounts...) and I have never been a morning person. I'm pretty much awful at it. I dread sleeping, it makes me feel guilty. Ridiculous, I know. But it does! I hate lying there not actively doing something, I think of the extra pages I could be reading, the quiet house time I could be having, the dishes I left in the sink....again.
All that to say! I'm doing an overhaul of my quiet time. Coming up with a plan for reading, studying and applying Scripture. Writing out my prayers again (taking prayer requests!! I love coming alongside my friends and family and joining them in prayer.) Being better about memorizing Scripture! Which won't be hard to do since I'm pretty much awful about that!
I'm excited.
I'm excited for this time of growth (when aren't we growing??), excited to be challenged, excited to grow closer with God.
In school right now I'm taking a class about studying God's Word...reading "Grasping God's Word" by Duvall and Hays. So amazing guys. I have been SO challenged and blown away. But that's for the next post. :)
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen. ~Romans 11:36
God bless you!!! Praying for each and everyone of you. I hope you feel God's embrace and wonderful purpose in your life today.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Ten years of celebrating March 5th
WHAT?!?!? I know. Ten years. It's crazy. It went fast. It went furiously. ;) It was amazing. Ten years of life with my husband. I still get goosebumps when I introduce Ry as my husband. MY HUSBAND. God has blessed me big time.
My beloved is mine, and I am his.
Song of Solomon 2:16
"I found the one whom my soul loves" (S. of S. 3:4). When I met Ry around eleven years ago (spring break of 2004 in Canada!!! WOOOO!) I knew I was going to marry him, the first day he revealed to me the kind of man I wanted to spend my life with (I had just turned 20 and he was almost 25). After the second day of being around him, I knew he was the man God had made just for me. Other than my belief in God, I had never been more sure of anything before or since. THEN I got to spend a week alongside him serving God and others at the most beautiful Young Life camp ever. There could not have been a more perfect, God designed, way for the two of us to meet. It took Ryan a little bit longer to realize we were made for each other. But once he did! We were engaged, planning a wedding, I moved to Florida for four months, then BAM. There we were.
Husband and Wife.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:25
When Ryan proposed to me I was shocked. Completely taken back by it. I had been waiting...and waiting...and waiting...every moment seemed like THE moment and then it wasn't! The weekend we went to Joseph, OR to run our dog, hike, eat food, I had finally let go of the expectation that it would happen. The night we arrived at his family's cabin he pulled out a metal basin and heated up some water, set it in front of me and took off my sandals, I was really concerned that my feet were stinky! He assured me they weren't (he wouldn't have told me if they were) and proceeded to wash my feet and tell me how much he loved me and how he wanted to live out the kind of love that Jesus has for His church. I cried. We hugged. He did not propose. ;) The next day we went on a hike out to "the rock" and while we were out there we got attacked by these horseflies! They were nasty!!! I asked if we could leave, Ryan was glassing, so he bends down to put his binoculars away and spins around on his knee with THE box! I was so excited!!! He asked, I said yes, he put it on! We hugged!! Still so exciting just thinking about it. Side note...we didn't kiss until a couple of months before we got married, but that's a whole other story.
Our wedding was pretty low key, I just wanted to be husband and wife and move on with life! Our first year of marriage! Man, was that an eye opener. We argued differently, we kept house differently, we had different ideas of when kids should show up! (He was most definitely right on the kiddo timeline.) We realized just how differently God had made us! Designed us! Looking back over the last ten years of marriage, I am so thankful that God designed us this way.
Marriage is a constant check and balance. Give and take. Push and pull. ;) You get the idea. LOTS OF PRAYER. Checking in with one another to see how life is going, where you can support and encourage. How am I doing as your wife? What do I need more (or less of) from you as husband?
Not everyone likes the word "work" in reference to marriage, but it takes purposeful commitment and work (I don't have a negative connotation in regards to that word) to make any relationship work. It takes effort to get together but when someone is worth it, it stops being work and simply brings joy. I'm so thankful that God put me together with someone who puts God first and his relationship with God is first. Just like my relationship with God is first and there is a natural overflow that leads to huge blessings. (Look into the book You and Me Forever by Francis Chan and Lisa Chan, SO GOOD people!!!!) If you are both aspiring to be Christ-like it'll pour back into your marriage. God is so good.
So it only took 4+ months to post this...more to come. :)
My beloved is mine, and I am his.
Song of Solomon 2:16
"I found the one whom my soul loves" (S. of S. 3:4). When I met Ry around eleven years ago (spring break of 2004 in Canada!!! WOOOO!) I knew I was going to marry him, the first day he revealed to me the kind of man I wanted to spend my life with (I had just turned 20 and he was almost 25). After the second day of being around him, I knew he was the man God had made just for me. Other than my belief in God, I had never been more sure of anything before or since. THEN I got to spend a week alongside him serving God and others at the most beautiful Young Life camp ever. There could not have been a more perfect, God designed, way for the two of us to meet. It took Ryan a little bit longer to realize we were made for each other. But once he did! We were engaged, planning a wedding, I moved to Florida for four months, then BAM. There we were.
Husband and Wife.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:25
When Ryan proposed to me I was shocked. Completely taken back by it. I had been waiting...and waiting...and waiting...every moment seemed like THE moment and then it wasn't! The weekend we went to Joseph, OR to run our dog, hike, eat food, I had finally let go of the expectation that it would happen. The night we arrived at his family's cabin he pulled out a metal basin and heated up some water, set it in front of me and took off my sandals, I was really concerned that my feet were stinky! He assured me they weren't (he wouldn't have told me if they were) and proceeded to wash my feet and tell me how much he loved me and how he wanted to live out the kind of love that Jesus has for His church. I cried. We hugged. He did not propose. ;) The next day we went on a hike out to "the rock" and while we were out there we got attacked by these horseflies! They were nasty!!! I asked if we could leave, Ryan was glassing, so he bends down to put his binoculars away and spins around on his knee with THE box! I was so excited!!! He asked, I said yes, he put it on! We hugged!! Still so exciting just thinking about it. Side note...we didn't kiss until a couple of months before we got married, but that's a whole other story.
Our wedding was pretty low key, I just wanted to be husband and wife and move on with life! Our first year of marriage! Man, was that an eye opener. We argued differently, we kept house differently, we had different ideas of when kids should show up! (He was most definitely right on the kiddo timeline.) We realized just how differently God had made us! Designed us! Looking back over the last ten years of marriage, I am so thankful that God designed us this way.
Marriage is a constant check and balance. Give and take. Push and pull. ;) You get the idea. LOTS OF PRAYER. Checking in with one another to see how life is going, where you can support and encourage. How am I doing as your wife? What do I need more (or less of) from you as husband?
Not everyone likes the word "work" in reference to marriage, but it takes purposeful commitment and work (I don't have a negative connotation in regards to that word) to make any relationship work. It takes effort to get together but when someone is worth it, it stops being work and simply brings joy. I'm so thankful that God put me together with someone who puts God first and his relationship with God is first. Just like my relationship with God is first and there is a natural overflow that leads to huge blessings. (Look into the book You and Me Forever by Francis Chan and Lisa Chan, SO GOOD people!!!!) If you are both aspiring to be Christ-like it'll pour back into your marriage. God is so good.
So it only took 4+ months to post this...more to come. :)
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
I took a break!!
And now I'm taking another one...only this time, it's from school. Since I've last written I feel like life went from crazy, to CRAZY!! Having three boys moving around our little house has kept life exciting for sure! Rygby (a phenomenal little boy who brings joy every day) does NOT like to sleep well...in fact he woke up and I had to stop typing this! I still have faith that someday he will in fact sleep through the night. Some.....day....
So! I started school back up last August, after my "maternity leave", and things were going well and then everyone started to get sick (just cycling through colds/viruses) nothing major but enough to keep me up even longer than I was already doing to get through my classes.They never got sick at the same time but just kept going, one after the other. THEN. We came back from Christmas in Oregon (a horrendously long trip with three kids, at times) and all the kids got sick, I was even more exhausted and sleeping less than I already had been, drinking five cups of coffee a day and trying desperately to remember whatever the heck it was that my eyes had scanned across five seconds earlier! Needless to say my school work was suffering and my lovely teacher was noticing. (Corban is fabulous and you take one or two classes for five weeks at a time.) I managed, by the grace of God, to muddle through the remainder of those classes and came to a sanity saving conclusion that a break was needed.
Here I am. On my break. Exhausted because two are still sick, but completely relieved because I don't have to write a paper tonight. I have been reading for fun! Crazy! I know. At the beginning of March I started reading through First Thessalonians every day (lots of amazing things happening there, will share at a later date) and will continue to do that through the end of March, it coincides with my ladies Bible study. I've been pretty lazy, not going to lie, and have simply been reveling in the fact that I don't have homework. I don't HAVE to read, I get to. Do not get me wrong! I LOVE my program, I find what I'm learning about to be fascinating and am SO excited to use all of my tools and knowledge someday when I grow up. ;) But, I was having a hard time functioning in a healthy manner and was desperate for a moment to catch up on life.
Rygby is about to turn one in less than a month! I have no idea how that happened. Ryne is staring down kindergarten and can hardly wait, some days I feel the same way! Dude is like his mom and LOVES to be around people, I unfortunately cannot provide that 90% of the time. We both love Sunday and Tuesday's because we get to go to church and Bible study! Rytan is as funny as they come and a riot to watch around the house.
During my break from school (I start back up in August) I'm going to be working on a mission statement, I have been talking about doing one for years and am finally going to do it. I am 31 years old (WHAT?!?!), have been married for TEN years (PRAISE GOD!!), have three amazing little men (an answer to prayers that had been going on for well over ten years), and am feeling more settled in who I am, who I am becoming. The woman that God has made me to be. There is a very good chance that you (whoever you might be) will see a few drafts of that mission statement on here. It is going to include where I feel God is calling me to in a professional sense, who I am as a wife and mom, where I hope to see myself in the next six months, year, five years, ten years, physical expectations (hoping to complete a half marathon later this year....), and more. I love writing things down. My husband can attest to you that I am NOT the most organized person but I love my pens (purple ballpoint) and journals.
As much as this started out to share our lives, as a break from facebook..., this will very much be turning into my own little journey. Especially between now and August, when I get to go back to school. For now!! I want to leave you with a verse that really hit home today, as a wife, mom and friend, I want to live this verse out:
We exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:12
(Emphasis my own)
I want to live a life worthy of God. Worthy of the calling he has placed on my life. In turn I want to encourage you to do the same. I want to encourage you to turn to him in all aspects of your life (pray without ceasing, 1 Thessalonians 5:17) and encourage you to seek out people in your life that are going to actively push you towards him. I do believe God has made me to be an encourager, so think of me as your personal cheer leader and please let me know how I can pray for you! Encourage you! Or simply sit back and listen. I am here and I am ready.
So! I started school back up last August, after my "maternity leave", and things were going well and then everyone started to get sick (just cycling through colds/viruses) nothing major but enough to keep me up even longer than I was already doing to get through my classes.They never got sick at the same time but just kept going, one after the other. THEN. We came back from Christmas in Oregon (a horrendously long trip with three kids, at times) and all the kids got sick, I was even more exhausted and sleeping less than I already had been, drinking five cups of coffee a day and trying desperately to remember whatever the heck it was that my eyes had scanned across five seconds earlier! Needless to say my school work was suffering and my lovely teacher was noticing. (Corban is fabulous and you take one or two classes for five weeks at a time.) I managed, by the grace of God, to muddle through the remainder of those classes and came to a sanity saving conclusion that a break was needed.
Here I am. On my break. Exhausted because two are still sick, but completely relieved because I don't have to write a paper tonight. I have been reading for fun! Crazy! I know. At the beginning of March I started reading through First Thessalonians every day (lots of amazing things happening there, will share at a later date) and will continue to do that through the end of March, it coincides with my ladies Bible study. I've been pretty lazy, not going to lie, and have simply been reveling in the fact that I don't have homework. I don't HAVE to read, I get to. Do not get me wrong! I LOVE my program, I find what I'm learning about to be fascinating and am SO excited to use all of my tools and knowledge someday when I grow up. ;) But, I was having a hard time functioning in a healthy manner and was desperate for a moment to catch up on life.
Rygby is about to turn one in less than a month! I have no idea how that happened. Ryne is staring down kindergarten and can hardly wait, some days I feel the same way! Dude is like his mom and LOVES to be around people, I unfortunately cannot provide that 90% of the time. We both love Sunday and Tuesday's because we get to go to church and Bible study! Rytan is as funny as they come and a riot to watch around the house.
During my break from school (I start back up in August) I'm going to be working on a mission statement, I have been talking about doing one for years and am finally going to do it. I am 31 years old (WHAT?!?!), have been married for TEN years (PRAISE GOD!!), have three amazing little men (an answer to prayers that had been going on for well over ten years), and am feeling more settled in who I am, who I am becoming. The woman that God has made me to be. There is a very good chance that you (whoever you might be) will see a few drafts of that mission statement on here. It is going to include where I feel God is calling me to in a professional sense, who I am as a wife and mom, where I hope to see myself in the next six months, year, five years, ten years, physical expectations (hoping to complete a half marathon later this year....), and more. I love writing things down. My husband can attest to you that I am NOT the most organized person but I love my pens (purple ballpoint) and journals.
As much as this started out to share our lives, as a break from facebook..., this will very much be turning into my own little journey. Especially between now and August, when I get to go back to school. For now!! I want to leave you with a verse that really hit home today, as a wife, mom and friend, I want to live this verse out:
We exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:12
(Emphasis my own)
I want to live a life worthy of God. Worthy of the calling he has placed on my life. In turn I want to encourage you to do the same. I want to encourage you to turn to him in all aspects of your life (pray without ceasing, 1 Thessalonians 5:17) and encourage you to seek out people in your life that are going to actively push you towards him. I do believe God has made me to be an encourager, so think of me as your personal cheer leader and please let me know how I can pray for you! Encourage you! Or simply sit back and listen. I am here and I am ready.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Summer is over!
Well...summer vacation is over. For this little Harder family. We are beginning our trek back to Wyoming! Ryan is taking off in the morning, with the tundra PACKED, pulling a Uhaul and the boys and I will be following in a couple of days with a loaded outback.
Ahhhhhhh. The joys of moving again, and again, and again.
This time! We are moving to Cody! We found an affordable little house with a fenced in back yard! We are ridiculously excited. Unfortunately this means that Ryan will be commuting....fortunately this means we will be living in a town with a hospital (a normal sized hospital with an ER), grocery shopping options! Crazy, I know. A pediatrician IN town! A pool (you have no idea how excited I am about this), our church! We are super excited to have the opportunity to be involved in the community with our church. AND!!!! We will only be an hour away from the east gate of Yellowstone. ONE HOUR ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like this summer went by really fast, I still haven't made it to the beach! Dang it. Maybe this fall....or winter...or next summer? Between working, running around visiting friends, getting used to being mommy of three and still maintaining my status as super wife ;) this summer has simply flown by. It's been wonderful to be around family but I am looking forward to returning to Wyoming. I feel at home there. I am so unbelievably blessed to be able to live there, Ryan teaching over there allows me to be a stay at home mom! I'm so thankful for that. It is such a gift to be able to be home with the boys and take care of my little family. It is such a huge sense of accomplishment to be able to put a meal down in front of all my men. I understand the joy that my mom felt while we were growing up...and the frustration at times.
While we are so very excited to get over to Wyoming, it sucks to leave those we love behind. Having such a short time back at "home" makes it a lot easier to really invest our time with those we love and are supportive of us during our ups and downs. The last five...six years have really shown those people that we can count on and look to for support, advice and prayers. We are so thankful for those people in our lives.
So much love and prayer for you all.
Last post?? A couple of posts ago?? I left a verse Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." I don't know why it took me so long to keep reading...because what follows is perfection. Verse 15 The Lord said to Moses, "Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward."
So. Here's to walking forward with the Lord. Into what is unknown to me but on a path that He has made straight. (Proverbs 3:6).
Ahhhhhhh. The joys of moving again, and again, and again.
This time! We are moving to Cody! We found an affordable little house with a fenced in back yard! We are ridiculously excited. Unfortunately this means that Ryan will be commuting....fortunately this means we will be living in a town with a hospital (a normal sized hospital with an ER), grocery shopping options! Crazy, I know. A pediatrician IN town! A pool (you have no idea how excited I am about this), our church! We are super excited to have the opportunity to be involved in the community with our church. AND!!!! We will only be an hour away from the east gate of Yellowstone. ONE HOUR ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like this summer went by really fast, I still haven't made it to the beach! Dang it. Maybe this fall....or winter...or next summer? Between working, running around visiting friends, getting used to being mommy of three and still maintaining my status as super wife ;) this summer has simply flown by. It's been wonderful to be around family but I am looking forward to returning to Wyoming. I feel at home there. I am so unbelievably blessed to be able to live there, Ryan teaching over there allows me to be a stay at home mom! I'm so thankful for that. It is such a gift to be able to be home with the boys and take care of my little family. It is such a huge sense of accomplishment to be able to put a meal down in front of all my men. I understand the joy that my mom felt while we were growing up...and the frustration at times.
While we are so very excited to get over to Wyoming, it sucks to leave those we love behind. Having such a short time back at "home" makes it a lot easier to really invest our time with those we love and are supportive of us during our ups and downs. The last five...six years have really shown those people that we can count on and look to for support, advice and prayers. We are so thankful for those people in our lives.
So much love and prayer for you all.
Last post?? A couple of posts ago?? I left a verse Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." I don't know why it took me so long to keep reading...because what follows is perfection. Verse 15 The Lord said to Moses, "Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward."
So. Here's to walking forward with the Lord. Into what is unknown to me but on a path that He has made straight. (Proverbs 3:6).
Monday, July 14, 2014
Sooooo....it's been a while.
I keep having all of these wonderful ideas on different things to blog about. Everything from potty training tails to deep thoughts of my own. ; ) I can't even sit down to blog without feeling overwhelmed by all that I could share!! Right now I'm simply enjoying a quiet moment before bed, thankful for air conditioning! I forgot how humid it can get here (nothing like the south) but my word, the air just feels thick after being in Montana and Wyoming.
The boys are amazing. Rytan just turned three on the sixth. That child is nothing but joy and giggles. Occasional freak out, sure, but that just happens when he's tired. I can hardly believe it has already been three years since he entered our lives. It is amazing to watch him with his brothers, he absolutely adores his big brother and wants to do everything (and I really do mean everything) that Ryne does. He's pretty sure he's perfectly capable to do all things that are presented before him. Fortunately he still loves to snuggle, he will grab my face with both hands and tell me I'm his favorite (in that moment) and then give me a huge kiss.
Ryne is so excited about life!! Constantly ready for a new adventure, whoever is doing SOMEthing, he's sure he needs to tag along and help. He loves running around the yard, riding his bike, jumping in and out of the little pool, riding the little ATV. Daddy has taken the big boys fishing a couple of times this summer and they are hooked! There have been two nights this summer that the boys have chatted in their room after going to bed, every other night Ryan or I will take them in and read a book, pray with them and we do not hear a peep! Ryne also likes to tell people that his plan is to have two more babies...in case you hear this! Please know it is NOT true. But, we are incredibly thankful that he loves his brothers so much he could go for two more.
Rygby is three months! He's growing and changing every day, seriously, he is. He's a smiley, happy go lucky guy! Until someone other than mommy holds him...not entirely true but he is definitely a mama's boy! I love it. He wakes up incredibly happy in the morning, chatty as all get out and smiles. He greets his brothers with big smiles and his whole body flails around with excitement.
Being a parent absolutely comes with it's struggles but I'm so thankful for these beautiful boys and the gift of being mommy. Every day I'm blown away by them and God's love and grace for all of us!!!!
Ryan is doing really well, finally over his terrible, awful summer cold. Yay allergies making everything worse! June had most everyone sick and me running around like a crazy person unable to make sense of the days because we have no routine! I, apparently, thrive on routine and without it have almost no idea what day it is or what is going on in our lives.
I want to leave you with a verse that I have found incredibly encouraging over the last couple of weeks! I hope it blesses you the same way it has me.
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14
Be encouraged sweet friends! Rest in His goodness and faithfulness. Let His grace and peace wash over you.
The boys are amazing. Rytan just turned three on the sixth. That child is nothing but joy and giggles. Occasional freak out, sure, but that just happens when he's tired. I can hardly believe it has already been three years since he entered our lives. It is amazing to watch him with his brothers, he absolutely adores his big brother and wants to do everything (and I really do mean everything) that Ryne does. He's pretty sure he's perfectly capable to do all things that are presented before him. Fortunately he still loves to snuggle, he will grab my face with both hands and tell me I'm his favorite (in that moment) and then give me a huge kiss.
Ryne is so excited about life!! Constantly ready for a new adventure, whoever is doing SOMEthing, he's sure he needs to tag along and help. He loves running around the yard, riding his bike, jumping in and out of the little pool, riding the little ATV. Daddy has taken the big boys fishing a couple of times this summer and they are hooked! There have been two nights this summer that the boys have chatted in their room after going to bed, every other night Ryan or I will take them in and read a book, pray with them and we do not hear a peep! Ryne also likes to tell people that his plan is to have two more babies...in case you hear this! Please know it is NOT true. But, we are incredibly thankful that he loves his brothers so much he could go for two more.
Rygby is three months! He's growing and changing every day, seriously, he is. He's a smiley, happy go lucky guy! Until someone other than mommy holds him...not entirely true but he is definitely a mama's boy! I love it. He wakes up incredibly happy in the morning, chatty as all get out and smiles. He greets his brothers with big smiles and his whole body flails around with excitement.
Being a parent absolutely comes with it's struggles but I'm so thankful for these beautiful boys and the gift of being mommy. Every day I'm blown away by them and God's love and grace for all of us!!!!
Ryan is doing really well, finally over his terrible, awful summer cold. Yay allergies making everything worse! June had most everyone sick and me running around like a crazy person unable to make sense of the days because we have no routine! I, apparently, thrive on routine and without it have almost no idea what day it is or what is going on in our lives.
I want to leave you with a verse that I have found incredibly encouraging over the last couple of weeks! I hope it blesses you the same way it has me.
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14
Be encouraged sweet friends! Rest in His goodness and faithfulness. Let His grace and peace wash over you.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Confessions of a not super mom.
Soooooo.....this post might be a little scattered and spastic at times. My punctuation might become lacking (or simply start that way) and I hope you will forgive me. I'm going to take a lot of freedom to share here because I am preeeeeeeeeeeetty sure there are not a lot of people who read this...and those who do, bear with me. :)
Let me start with: I have a phenomenal husband (he's human and broken but he loves Jesus first and then myself and the boys.) I have three beautiful boys, I am so thankful God has entrusted them into our care and that we get to be the ones to raise them up. My quiver is full. :) There is a little saying that goes, if you think my hands are full you should see my heart. Yup!
Over the last couple of years there has been some confusion over myself and the use of the term "super mom." I have been accused (cannot think of the right word to use here...) of not getting angry, sad, or frustrated. There have been times in my life where I have felt unable to be sad, that even though I felt it I would be doing a disservice to those around me should I show it. I remember people saying to me over the last 15 years or so that they can't imagine me sad or angry. I do not think I need to walk around crying and screaming at people to get my point across, but it feels weird to hear these things. Someone who I love told me just yesterday that she couldn't imagine me feeling either of those emotions.
Those of you who have walked with Ryan and I over the last ten years know that we have had our own frustrations. My heart has broken watching my husband work incredibly hard to take care of our family, start a new career path at 30 and continue to believe that God would use him. We have moved so many times I get confused thinking about it, especially when I'm tired... I am fiercely protective of my husband and whenever there is even the possibility of my husband being hurt my hackles go up and I'm immediately on the defense. I cannot imagine why anyone would try to hurt him. Ryan is one of the hardest working people I know, amazingly loyal and has the most beautiful heart I have ever come across. I'm completely blessed by that man and am so thankful that God created him just for me. That being said we are still human, we still sin, and I very often fall short of the grace God has given me.
Ryne, Rytan and Rygby. Say that three times fast when you are tired, hungry and in desperate need of a nap. Or at least another cup of coffee. Three amazingly wonderful little boys. Rygby has only been in our life for just over two months and it's amazing how quickly he has engrained himself in our lives. Our family is complete (we really are NOT having more kids unless God decides otherwise...) Ryne will be five in October and Rytan is turning three in just a couple of weeks!! Our life is flying by and I'm blown away by it. The oldest two are incredibly spirited little boys, full of enthusiasm for life and a determination to do things in their own way. They keep me on my toes, remind me to relax, and embrace all that they are and who God has made them. I'm so looking forward to watching all three of them becoming young men. I struggle. I fail as a mom daily. I get upset with them when they are simply learning about life and being completely normal kids. I need to slow down more. I need to embrace the innocence of who they are more. I need to pray more! For them, for their future spouses, for their teenage years (completely horrified by those years already), for their friends. I cannot take out my frustrations in life on them. And sometimes...when I'm tired...I do.
There are some days where I feel like a phenomenally awful mom, a crappy wife and a person with no direction or purpose. I get angry and don't know what to do with it. I like to think that I'm a good listener (I really do hope I am), I love being able to walk with people through life and their highs and lows. But sometimes when I have quite a few people share with me at the same time (I'm SO thankful for people's confidence in me) and my heart gets heavy and I don't always know how to deal with it. I pray and do my best to hand it over to God and walk away. But it can be difficult. Sometimes I let other peoples problems get the better of me. Please don't hear this as me not wanting to hear what is going on in your life...because I totally do!!! But know that from now on I'm going to pray with people a lot more, while I'm sitting with you. Mostly because I need to. ;)
So that's about it...I'm trying, I fail. I love, but not always well. I'm broken, but God is healing those hurts. I'm a sinner, but He has forgiven me.
For who is God, but the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God--
the God who equipped me with strength
and made my way blameless.
Psalm 18:31
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Psalm 145:8
Let me start with: I have a phenomenal husband (he's human and broken but he loves Jesus first and then myself and the boys.) I have three beautiful boys, I am so thankful God has entrusted them into our care and that we get to be the ones to raise them up. My quiver is full. :) There is a little saying that goes, if you think my hands are full you should see my heart. Yup!
Over the last couple of years there has been some confusion over myself and the use of the term "super mom." I have been accused (cannot think of the right word to use here...) of not getting angry, sad, or frustrated. There have been times in my life where I have felt unable to be sad, that even though I felt it I would be doing a disservice to those around me should I show it. I remember people saying to me over the last 15 years or so that they can't imagine me sad or angry. I do not think I need to walk around crying and screaming at people to get my point across, but it feels weird to hear these things. Someone who I love told me just yesterday that she couldn't imagine me feeling either of those emotions.
Those of you who have walked with Ryan and I over the last ten years know that we have had our own frustrations. My heart has broken watching my husband work incredibly hard to take care of our family, start a new career path at 30 and continue to believe that God would use him. We have moved so many times I get confused thinking about it, especially when I'm tired... I am fiercely protective of my husband and whenever there is even the possibility of my husband being hurt my hackles go up and I'm immediately on the defense. I cannot imagine why anyone would try to hurt him. Ryan is one of the hardest working people I know, amazingly loyal and has the most beautiful heart I have ever come across. I'm completely blessed by that man and am so thankful that God created him just for me. That being said we are still human, we still sin, and I very often fall short of the grace God has given me.
Ryne, Rytan and Rygby. Say that three times fast when you are tired, hungry and in desperate need of a nap. Or at least another cup of coffee. Three amazingly wonderful little boys. Rygby has only been in our life for just over two months and it's amazing how quickly he has engrained himself in our lives. Our family is complete (we really are NOT having more kids unless God decides otherwise...) Ryne will be five in October and Rytan is turning three in just a couple of weeks!! Our life is flying by and I'm blown away by it. The oldest two are incredibly spirited little boys, full of enthusiasm for life and a determination to do things in their own way. They keep me on my toes, remind me to relax, and embrace all that they are and who God has made them. I'm so looking forward to watching all three of them becoming young men. I struggle. I fail as a mom daily. I get upset with them when they are simply learning about life and being completely normal kids. I need to slow down more. I need to embrace the innocence of who they are more. I need to pray more! For them, for their future spouses, for their teenage years (completely horrified by those years already), for their friends. I cannot take out my frustrations in life on them. And sometimes...when I'm tired...I do.
There are some days where I feel like a phenomenally awful mom, a crappy wife and a person with no direction or purpose. I get angry and don't know what to do with it. I like to think that I'm a good listener (I really do hope I am), I love being able to walk with people through life and their highs and lows. But sometimes when I have quite a few people share with me at the same time (I'm SO thankful for people's confidence in me) and my heart gets heavy and I don't always know how to deal with it. I pray and do my best to hand it over to God and walk away. But it can be difficult. Sometimes I let other peoples problems get the better of me. Please don't hear this as me not wanting to hear what is going on in your life...because I totally do!!! But know that from now on I'm going to pray with people a lot more, while I'm sitting with you. Mostly because I need to. ;)
So that's about it...I'm trying, I fail. I love, but not always well. I'm broken, but God is healing those hurts. I'm a sinner, but He has forgiven me.
For who is God, but the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God--
the God who equipped me with strength
and made my way blameless.
Psalm 18:31
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Psalm 145:8
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
We got to go to one of our favorite places last weekend, Joseph, Oregon. It's beautiful. Pictures don't do it any kind of justice. If you have the opportunity to go there, take it!! And go to Arrowhead chocolate shop...get a dark chocolate mocha. They give you a spoon smothered in chocolate!! SO GOOD. Below are a few pics of the boys enjoying the cabin, the first two are from Greybull, but Ry was hosing down the end of a fire and the big boys got all excited and ran around (mostly) nudie for a bit. It was hysterical. A super relaxing time, we simply enjoyed being up there, except for the allergies. ;)
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